Catholic perspective on end-of-life planning

 

Preparing for death is an ancient Christian practice. Christ gave his death on the cross away for the salvation of our souls and Christians, following his example, prepare to give their death away for those they love. My grandfather Walter Peter, a devout Catholic man, just before he died told those at his death bed, “The things of this world are as naught.” That is what my mom told me. When she died, her last words were, “Faith is the greatest gift.” The ‘last words’ of our loved ones are often carefully thought out and offered for our well-being. My grandfather was a Swiss immigrant and had very old-world ideas about the ars moriendi. The art of dying, in English translation, is about the preparation necessary for a Christian death. The ars moriendi includes thinking about the last things you want to say to your loved ones, the experience of death for the whole family, especially the young, and the memories death implants.  

 

Americans at the time of the Civil War, had very set ideas about the ars moriendi. Dying at home, surrounded by loved ones, they could expect to tie up loose ends, receive and give expressions of love and be escorted to their last breath holding someone’s hand. Dr. Drew Gilpin Faust Ph.D, one time president of Harvard University, wrote her book “This Republic of Suffering” to explore how the American Civil War disrupted these ancient patterns of death. Soldiers dying far from home, on the battlefield or in a hospital, could not expect to be surrounded by their loved ones. Their friends or the staff would place pictures of their mothers and fathers and other family members around them to remind them of better times. 

 

Dr. Faust also tells how the vast amount of death resulted in a booming funeral business. Soldiers wanted to be buried at home and so the technology of embalming received a huge boost. Officers and enlisted men, at rates differing according to rank, could pay to have their bodies preserved and shipped home by rail so that a family funeral could be held by family and friends. After the war, the federal government financed a search for the bodies of Union soldiers that did not make it off the battlefield. They were gathered and buried in large national cemeteries. Not so the Confederate dead. Anger in the South that the victorious union ignored and disrespected the Confederate dead, especially among Southern women, led to the formation of the United Daughters of the Confederacy to gather the South’s dead and to erect monuments in their honor. Some of these monuments have been socially and politically divisive to this very day. Respect for the dead, whoever they are, is a personal and social duty that, if ignored, leaves problems for the living. The ars moriendi is, at its best, the last opportunity of the dying Christian to, like Christ, offer death for the love of neighbor and for those of us left behind, to impart sentiments of love and affection to those on their way to meet Christ.  

 

St. John Vianney used to preach that there were three ways to die. The first is to die in your sleep and so quickly you feel no pain. If suffering is your greatest fear in life, then this might be your hope. Generally, the idea of ‘death with dignity’ or euthanasia espouses this as the ideal death. No one wants to suffer or to burden others, but if you see your death as the last opportunity to offer your loved ones something important about living life, you ought to be concerned about promoting the idea that pain is the worst thing in life. There are a lot worse things in life than pain. Courage, one of the four cardinal virtues, is about the steady endurance of fortitude in the face of adversity in life. A culture of death that promotes physical and emotional pain at any time in life, is a culture that fears sacrifice. Pain is not the greatest human enemy, and death itself is not an escape. We are told there is pain on the other side as well. A culture where pain is to be avoided at all costs and courage to be cultivated only in the fairest of weather is a dying culture. 

 

St. John says the second way of dying is to be surrounded by your loved ones. It gives time to express your love and concern, to heal old wounds and to share one of the most profound moments in life, death. As a Catholic priest, I have attended many such deaths. Some think that love and romance are the sole province of the young and beautiful. No, the most beautiful and romantic moment in marriage is when the dying spouse is holding the hand of the survivor, surrounded by their children and grandchildren - faithful to death do us part! I think we all fear being a burden to our loved ones. My father was bedridden in his last few years, and that was hard on our whole family, attending his death left a profound and lasting mark on me but it was also a painful experience that taught me something about the cost of love. Still, St. John says that the second way of dying is, still, not the best way.  

 

For the patron saint of parish priests, the best way to die is anointed with the sacrament of the sick, what was at one time called, extreme unction. The Letter of St. James provides, “Is anyone among you suffering? He should pray. Is anyone in good spirits? He should sing praise. Is anyone among you sick?* He should summon the presbyters of the church, and they should pray over him and anoint [him] with oil in the name of the Lord, and the prayer of faith will save the sick person, and the Lord will raise him up. If he has committed any sins, he will be forgiven.” James 5:13-15. For the Church, the moment of our death is not just about avoiding pain or looking back on our life. The moment of death is the preparation for our encounter with the Risen Lord. The sacrament of the sick is the assurance or our reception in His presence. One practical point - plan ahead! Call your parish priest and make an appointment for the sacrament to be conferred. Last-minute emergency phone calls, though dramatic, are not always successful.  

 

The ars moriendi, however, is about more. Christ saved us by giving his death to us and leaving us the Church to guard our souls. You can give your life and legacy away to your family by careful planning to avoid the bad feelings that lack of planning can engender. To assist you in carefully preparing for your death, the Catholic Foundation is offering some help.  

These Seminars are presented by Robert Way, Esq. Way is a Partner at Mesch, Clark and Rothschild in Tucson and practices in the firm’s estate planning and estate litigation sections. Way’s practice focuses on estate planning, probate and trust administration, guardianship and conservatorship, elder law, probate and end-of-life litigation. Also, his work includes Catholic estate planning, where he advises both individuals and clergy on the interaction and integration of canon law and civil law in one’s estate plan. Way is licensed in both Arizona and the District of Columbia. His presentations will be held:

 

To register for one of the seminars please contact Elizabeth Bollinger at the Catholic Foundation (520) 955-2109 or the parish directly.