Support group helps caregivers carry their cross

 

For the past year and a half, a unique group of people has gathered each month for just one hour. One hour is all the time they have to step away from their busy lives, because loved ones at home are depending on them for care and support. What unites this group of people is their common role as caregivers. Day in and day out, these men and women rise to meet the needs of spouses, parents, grandchildren, and children with special needs. 

 

But after they’ve given everything to everyone else, where do caregivers go for their own emotional support? 

 

In May of 2023, Our Mother of Sorrows Catholic Church launched the St. Veronica Caregivers Support Group. “We hope to help and support the caregiver and reminding them they are not alone on this journey,” says ministry founder Susanna Delgado. “We hope to reach caregivers who are feeling underappreciated, overwhelmed, and overworked. At our meetings, we check in with the caregiver and discuss different topics. We remind them that we have been called by God to care for His daughter or son. We help them from the sidelines as they carry their cross.” 

 

Delgado became a caregiver in 2011 when she and her husband took in her father-in-law. “We had no idea what we were doing,” she said. “However, God was preparing us for what was to come six months later. Later in 2011, we took in my mom. For 11 years, my husband and I cared for her. I have always had my faith; however, my faith grew even more during these years.” During the pandemic, they also began doing long-distance care for her mother-in-law. 

 

Over the years, Delgado searched for resources to help support her, her husband, and their marriage while they served as caregivers. She discovered the importance of respite and a support system for the caregiver as well. “I was blessed to have my adult children who encouraged and held me accountable during my journey,” she said. 

 

When her mother-in-law passed away in February 2022 and her mom passed away six months later, Delgado found herself “lost, confused, and unsure of what to do next,” she said. “I continued to ask God for guidance. After talking with other caregivers, the common thread I heard was how alone they felt. They lacked resources and support. I continued to pray about this and what I could do to help fellow caregivers.” 

 

Delgado approached her pastor at OMOS with the idea to start a support group for caregivers and he fully supported the idea. “I reached out to some friends who were my sounding board during my journey of caregiving, and they too have caregiving experience,” she said. “I asked them if they would be a part of my core team. They immediately said yes.” 

 

Named after St. Veronica who wiped the face of Jesus as he carried his cross, this support group is “on the sidelines, ready to wipe the caregivers' face as they carry their own cross, said Delgado. “Our mission is to create a safe space of trust and empathy for those who care for their loved ones selflessly. Our vision is to be a faith-based, peer ministry. We gather monthly for reflection, sharing, prayer, and respite as fuel for the journey. Caregivers give so much of themselves; it is important to remind them that self-care is just as important. We also give them an opportunity to share their stories, struggles, and blessings.” 
 

Two participants shared a glimpse of their stories and how important the St. Veronica’s Caregiver Support Group has been as they serve as caregivers. 

 

Rhonda Zielinski said, “St. Veronica Caregivers Support Group has been a true blessing for me. This program has given me the strength to be a full-time caregiver and accept the things I cannot change. Recently, my mother-in-law passed away and simultaneously my own mother’s health took a turn for the worse, forcing her to have to live with me full-time and receive full-time care. Then my husband had to be admitted to ICU and receive two surgeries. Through it all, with the support from SVCSG, I have received the mental, physical, and most importantly, the spiritual strength to cope on a daily basis. With the help of this ministry, I have learned humility over hostility. This group has taught me that greater strength comes from my weakness, and that I am humble to be a caregiver.” 

 

Florinda Ramos shared, “During and after the pandemic, my caregiving skills, direction, and responsibility were challenged. I joined the St. Veronica Caregivers Support Group several months ago. They seemed warm and welcoming. I had never cried in front of strangers, but I cried while telling my caregiving story; I could feel they totally understood. They remind me of my strengths and that I was 'chosen' to be a caregiver. Everyone in the group has a different story but I’ve learned we all have the same challenges, and that we can learn from everyone’s experience. Praying with the group gives me a feeling of wellbeing.” 

 

With an estimated one in five Americans serving as a caregiver, according to AARP (the American Association of Retired Persons), the words of Roslyn Carter ring true, “There are only four kinds of people in the world: those who have been caregivers, those who are currently caregivers, those who will be caregivers, and those who will need a caregiver.” 

 

During November’s National Caregiver Month, let us humbly remember that we belong to one another and depend on one another for support, whether it be physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual. 

 

Saint Veronica, pray for us!